the first defining moment where I was ever recognized as an 'artist'
The video application
October, 2011
I was in the middle of rushing my college applications. I was barely paying attention to what was happening in school. There was so much pressure on me to get into college. The last thing I needed was a distraction to take away from attention from doing everything I can to get into college. Applying for YoungArts was the least of my priorities and I didn't want to expend any of my energy into it.
One day, my mom comes into my room and asks 'Where's the application? How far are you?' and I'm thinking maybe she was asking about college and started pulling up the status list of all the colleges I was applying to.
'Not college, the YoungArts one.'
Here I was doing everything I can to avoid applying and adding on anything to my extensive workload and she just had to come in and ask me about it. Flustered, I made up some dumb excuse about how I was so busy and couldn't be bothered and pushed her out of my room. You know, the teenage 'frustrations'.
Later that night, I gave up avoiding it and actually went to the YoungArts website for the first time. and let me tell you, my mind was blown.
This was a program designed for young artists from across the country and provided them with master classes with some renowned masters who have been in the industry for ages, opportunities to perform at the country's most prestigious places and you get a scholarship and you get to go to Miami and you get to network.....I could go on and on about how much I found out.
At 11:12PM (yes, I checked the time because I had JUST missed 11:11 and forgot to make a wish because I was too busy looking at the website. remember those times?) on October 11, 2011, I pushed everything else on hold and immediately looked up the application requirements. I made a plan of what pieces to record and how to do it. I had never recorded a formal video before so naturally I had no idea what I was doing. Over the next week, I planned and I planned and I planned and eventually, I shot with a red background wearing a red sari. (insert facepalm here)
I submitted my materials by snail mail (that was the only way to do it back then) at the last possible second and I was 100% sure that I had submitted too late. I shed a few tears for feeling like I missed my chance and also convinced myself that my application was awful and there was no way I was going to get in. I put the whole YoungArts application behind me and tried to move on.
On November 30, 2011, I get a call from an unknown number so I ignored it. Later in the evening, I listened to the voicemail (which is still saved in my mailbox, by the way)
'Hi, this is ____ calling from YoungArts with some time sensitive information. Please give me a call back at (___)___-____'
That was the longest night of my LIFE. The jitters took over and stared at the clock all night. Of course, I didn't sleep a wink. At 6AM PST (9AM EST) on the dot., I called the number back. I ran downstairs and my parents chased after me. Why? I don't know. Adrenaline.
'Please state your name and location'
'Manaswini Avvari, __________'
'Young lady, you're in. You are a finalist in the Dance category. You are invited to perform in Miami for Finals week in January.'
I could feel the pit of my stomach exploding and I was left completely dumbstruck. I turned to my parents, who were staring at me like a ticking time bomb, and I think I was smiling to the point where my eyes were so scrunched up that I could barely see.
The Deafening Applause of Appreciation
January 2012
6 hour flight to Miami, wearing my bright red Finalist shirt. The butterflies in my stomach weren't just floating around, they were basically jumping.
I didn't know it at the time but I was in the midst of the people who will soon be recognized worldwide for various shows and performances. The energy in the group was unreal and nothing like I had ever experienced before. Every
morning, we would walk over to Miami City Ballet to practice and train 1-on-1 with some of the greatest master teachers and learn about their careers and where they drew their inspirations. Jazz, Hip Hop, Ballet, Mexican Folklorico......I learned so much about different art forms that I wasn't exposed to before and built strong connections with practically everyone I had met there. I was learning a brand new lingo and with every step I was taking, I was learning something new. I was amazed at how their minds worked, like an abstract clock, methodically ticking away but stimulating and innovative.
In the evenings, we would attend the performances of the other disciplines - music, theater, writing, film - and marvel at everyone's talents. I was being that person and literally taking a picture at every corner. I wanted to do everything in my power to be able to remember everything about this experience.
My YoungArts performance was momentous for me in that this was the first performance I ever did without my mom helping me get ready. The performance was only 3 mins but I was freaking out that I would jump and my hair would fall off. Thankfully, I had the help of my mentor and my fellow peers who were amazed with how intricate and detailed the process of getting ready was. This was the first time I had experienced people outside of my culture being intrigued about what I do and genuinely curious about learning more.
I performed a 3 min segment of a tarangam, which is a dance performed while balancing on the rim of a brass plate and a pot of water on the head. Just a few minutes before the performance, I had been scrambling to practice backstage to get my nerves down, and I had dropped the pot. Through whatever miracle that night, the pot didn't fall on stage. Never have I ever been so nervous about a performance. In fact, you could see it throughout my piece! My only real smile was at the end when I struck the final pose and I realized I had managed to complete the piece.
Hearing that applause was something else. I was left completely speechless. It wasn't just a roaring applause but the feeling of appreciation and awe in the room from each and every person there. It was as if they had acknowledged me as an artist, my hometown, my heritage, and my skills on that stage and that I was capable. For the first time in my life, I felt that I had something to offer.
On the final evening, there was an alumni show and gala celebrating all the YoungArts winners and they had arranged for a mini showcase outside the theater. A few of us were asked to perform on the stage outside, right in the middle of the street. No big deal. It was completely spontaneous and there was live jazz music by the Jazz Finalists and we were to come with a live performance right then and there.
I had never done any kind of impromptu performance before. Do I do a jathi? Expressions? In addition, perform with Jazz musicians? This was so unheard of. I had no idea what I was doing, but, if I had learned anything from the past week, it was that art has no boundaries. The possibilities are endless.
As soon as I got on stage, it was almost like a rehearsed orchestra, as if we had been practicing for this moment for months. In a perfect harmony, it was as if we were interacting with each other, just through our music and dance from two very different parts of the world. No words, no signs. Nothing. Just music and dance. I will forever cherish that experience as a lesson that cultural differences are no barrier to collaboration.
'It was as if they had acknowledged me as an artist, my hometown, my heritage, and my skills on that stage and that I was capable.'
The Aftereffects
I remember telling my parents on the phone on the last day that I didn't want to come home. Never have I ever experienced so much heartache about leaving a place. Once I did get back home, I went through so many emotions but mostly mad at myself that I didn't get enough pictures and videos (I had 607 photos and 56 videos on my digital camera and smartphone combined and no, it still wasn't enough)
After a while, I reflected on what this experience meant to me. Previously, I was living in a bubble, only surrounded by people who were in the same field as I was and performing for the same crowd every time. I hadn't really thought about breaking out of my space and chose to stay within my comfort zone. Why mess with something that was going so well? I was very stubborn and made sure that I wanted to pursue nothing but classical arts because I thought I wasn't allowed to be 'distracted' with any other art form.
I couldn't have been more wrong. It opened my eyes to realize that there was so much information that I wasn't aware of and how it was beneficial to use in my own practice. It was liberating, to say the least, and I found where I belonged - a mellifluous blend of my two worlds, Indian and American, coming together. I also learned the value of not only appreciating other art forms, but having respect for your training and the perspective you hold.
The audience for these performances was one that you knew was there to appreciate the art, the effort, and the passion that we had. Nothing else. Every evening for a week, there was an immense joy that would fill the auditorium as you could sense the love and energy that each artist brought to the stage. And it radiated through their performance. What is better than seeing someone pursue their dream and find themselves in a place like this, surrounded by creative bright minds? We fed off of each other's energy that entire week and picked up skills and lessons from each other that will last us throughout our lifetime.
I've gained an entire network of inspiring, incredible true artists who are so passionate about what they do and gave me the confidence to pursue a career in the arts. New doors were opened for me to help me reimagine what my discipline meant to me and what it is I want to do with it. Beyond Finals week, I was able to be a part of so many events after and continuously receive support by way of grants and opportunities provided by YoungArts, each one being more and more incredible than the previous. It also made me realize that I had something that I could bring to the table.
If I hadn't caved and looked up the website for the information, and if my mom hadn't constantly been bugging me to apply, none of this would have ever happened and maybe I wouldn't even be writing this blog post right now.
and I have my YoungArts experience to thank for that: for getting me out of my own head and have the opportunity to explore the beauty of this world, and immersing myself with different experiences and perspectives, as well as providing me with the chance to represent what it is I truly love to do and how I can expand my boundaries in a way that respects my integrity as an artist and to the art form.
Why you should care: Indian Classical Dance viewpoint
Time and time again, we have seen how incorrectly Indian Classical dance has been depicted as well as narrowed representation of Hindu culture. It is disheartening to say that the sheer volume of how our traditions are being subject to cultural appropriation rather than appreciation. Educating the masses is truly in our control and keeping the integrity of these art forms is crucial to keep the arts alive and in tact for the next generations.
As an artist, it is important to break out of your comfort zone and see what the world has to offer. We learn so much from our peers and observation is the first step in developing that knowledge. It also is a humbling experience knowing the hard work others put in perfecting their craft.
YoungArts does just that and so much more to help protect the integrity of the art and help you find your path as an artist. The organization is rooted in helping us as Indian Classical dancers to represent our culture and traditions in its truest form and opens up new opportunities for us to associate ourselves with others in different communities. They are dedicated to uplifting young artists around the world and providing them with opportunities and resources to help them achieve their dreams and aspirations.
If you are an artist between the ages of 15-18 and looking to potentially pursue a career in the arts, I strongly recommend applying to the program here.
You won't regret it.
Y.O.U.N.G.A.R.T.S