Motivation is like a yo-yo. One moment it's up, and the next it's down. But when it's down, it uses that energy to spring back up again, only if you give it a little extra nudge.
Welcome to this new reality. It's like a game of Jumanji, where every turn is a new challenge waiting for you to conquer it or get destroyed by it. Nothing is for certain and we have no idea what the next move is. Everything just feels so bland but powerful. It's as if someone took the uppu (salt) out of life and you're just stuck with the peppercorns. (a quote from my best friend, Shreya)
I'll be the first to admit. I've been struggling to stay productive. It comes in bursts of energy from a random rush of adrenaline, but hasn't really been stable over the last few months. Normally, my brain works at 500MPH and my schedule was always packed to the very second. Though it was chaotic, I really thrived in that environment and really felt at peace (oh the irony).
Now, it's difficult to find that purpose. Who am I seeing today? No one. Who's performance am I watching on Instagram Live? I don't know. Do I have the energy to sit through a live stream even though I'll be in bed, eating potato chips while watching? Probably not. There is something so exhausting about wanting to exert any energy into tasks that are so low effort.
Sound familiar? Yup, everyone I've reached out to and spoken to has said something similar. This is hard. Where is the motivation these days? and how come it's such a hard question to answer? We've been trained in the most difficult dance pieces ever known but never been trained to figure out how to keep moving forward during unprecedented times. To top it all off, finding reasons to practice dance is probably the least of our priorities.
Dance is probably the one thing that took a big hit for me. At first, we were all scrambling around to find new ways to showcase and perform and we took to social media and livestreams. It was exciting at first, to say the least, of how the community came together to keep something going and keep the morale high. Hope was on the horizon when we were getting creative with putting on a show in the living room.
Then, slowly but surely, the adrenaline died down. Performing in your living room with a camera propped up isn't all that exciting as we thought it was going to be. The pixelated and lagging videos ruined the vibe and the enthusiasm wasn't transcending through the screen. With the lack of that external push to be performing in front of real people, practice isn't really coming naturally. We miss the theater stage, the people, the reactions-it just can't be replicated.
Dance is a community art form. We feed off of each other's energies in the room to keep the movement going. It comes from the audience, it comes from the spotlight, it that adrenaline rush you get 20 seconds before your music starts. Not only that, we gain inspiration from watching our mentors and peers performing. We're constantly learning from each other and networking along the way to carve a new path for our training.
Now, what happens when you take that away almost cold turkey? Of course it's destabilizing. It's like when you cut out caffeine, it takes a while for your body to readjust, and, believe me, I know those headaches are awful. In the same way, this withdrawal period of not being the presence of that inspiration is giving us heartache.
A little bit of History
What we know as classical dance today has its origins from ritual dance. Ritual dances are those that are incorporated in the common man's every day life. For example, Manipuri, a classical dance from Assam, India, was never an audience dance. The construction of the dance is to celebrate nature and recognize that human and nature had a symbiotic relationship. In fact, when you get to see authentic Manipuri, you will notice that the eyes are always down or looking into space, reiterating to us that this is a dance meant for themselves and not to perform for an audience. This was a major way of life and everyone in the community was fortunate enough to participate.
Over the years, there has been a shift in this culture to performing for audiences and gaining the validation from external sources to present the art form. (Manipuri is one of those art forms that remained true to its nature. The same cannot be said about the others.) More opportunities came up to present the art to larger audiences and the kind of content was modified to fit the audiences' needs. With global admiration and colonialism, the gears shifted from a ritual art form to a performing art. Much of the classical dances you are seeing today are not the dance forms that existed centuries ago.
But let's take a pause here and let's send us all a reminder: we will get through it.
While staying productive in terms of work and dance right now seems like an annoying chore, don't forget we are taking every second of our time now to process our new reality. So the fact that we need to digest and process new information every minute is absolutely productive. We only feel unproductive purely because this high powered society is telling us we need to maintain our usual level of work ethic despite being in an unusual state of mind. What....?
Though it's tough, dance is something that I look to for peace amidst the chaos and I'm sure that many of you feel the same. We have been blessed to have this art with us for so long and I am positive that is what will bring us around. Despite the frustrations of performing online, we cannot deny that it gives us some solace in knowing that the attempt to normalcy is being made and, at times, gives us something to look forward to.
Here are a few ways that I've found helped me stay somewhat productive in keeping in touch with dance. The overall goal was to keep my mind active and relaxed to tackle any task.
Make a game plan for the day
Keep a working list of all the things you want to accomplish. Big or small, doesn't matter. Take 20 minutes in the morning to write out a list. Sometimes, writing it out rather than typing it out on your phone has a better chance of you actually accomplishing the task. Not to mention the immense satisfaction you get from physically crossing things off your to-do list. I always make sure to put in at least 20 minutes of stretching and a walk outside. It's not much but it gets me up to stay active and do something rather than nothing.
Practice a little, a lot, how much ever you want
Do what you can. Start small and build your way up. Maybe you want to just stretch and not do an item. Cool. Maybe today is the day to finish learning that new item. Go for it. The key here is to do it for yourself and not for a performance. Take a much longer time stretching and focus on doing breathing exercises. Keep the muscles activated and warmed up. Once you're in a calm state of mind, start with some light steps and then move on to some jathis. Focus on something that you normally wouldn't have now that you have the time. Give yourself a good cool down period if you did do item practice. Breathing is of utmost importance now, so try not to skip this step.
Write down a goal you want to accomplish SOMEDAY
I'm talking about a goal for the far distant future. Write it down and keep it somewhere where you can see it on a regular basis. Repeated exposure to your own goals keeps you envisioning them and somewhere in your subconscious you are internally coming up with a plan on how to execute it. Every time I have a new idea for a video or a song, I write it down and stare at it for hours. Eventually, when I'm not really thinking about it or I'm doing a random chore, I'll suddenly get an idea and I have my screenplay or a choreography - purely because I just kept imagining about how to accomplish that goal. In that time frame as well, I end up coming with other ideas that become side projects.
Talk it out
Express what you are feeling. There's nothing worse than bottling up emotions only for them to explode later on. Don't hold back and release the sentiments as you see fit to someone you can trust. or I sometimes just stare at the ceiling and talk to the walls. Sounds weird, but I know so many of us do that. Through that release, I somehow realize issues that I couldn't articulate before and now have a better understanding of what I need to do. If you can find your way through that, your mind will be clear of clutter and more open to taking on a challenging task.
Pick up a challenge?
One of my favorite challenges that I see on social media is the #100daysofpractice challenge. Not only does it keep your mind and body stimulated, but also it's giving people that push to keep up with practice and look forward to accomplishing that goal. No need to post on social media if you don't want to, but keep a log for yourself so you can see your own growth. Seeing how far you've come is its own motivating factor.
Go do something other than dance
If you're feeling up for it, why not dabble in a new skill? What better time than now to throw some minimal energy into something and see how you like it. I strongly believe in being interdisciplinary and learning all kinds of skills which eventually help elevate my dance practice and performance. I picked up drawing again after a really long time and it's helped me unplug from electronics for a few hours and refocus my energy. Then, when I do go practice dance, I have a clearer mind and everything doesn't feel so cluttered.
Don't compare yourself to people on social media.
Notice how I put a period at the end of that headline. Because I really really REALLY mean it, especially now when everyone is performing for live streams or creating videos and seeming like they have it all together. I can safely assure you, they probably are not. Everyone functions at a different rate and copes with stress differently. Now more than ever, don't fall for the social media trap. As we've said time and time again, most social media profiles are highlight reels. Use it to stay informed and to catch up with people that you may not speak to on a daily basis. If you need a break from it, take a break from it. If you want to keep posting, keep posting. But overall, make sure you stay balanced and giving yourself time to breathe. I've had to tell myself over and over again that if I am not up for it, then there is no need for me to exert energy unwillingly.
At the end of the day, practice will find its way back to you. You've put in so much work all these years that it isn't just going to get up and walk out. Give yourself time to breathe and process everything around you. So long as you don't give up on it, it won't give up on you. At this very moment, you're doing the best you can to stay positive and pushing forward with what you have available to you. and you should be proud of yourself! Keep up with something that stimulates your mind but there's no need to force anything.
Going back to the history lesson above, maybe this is a reminder for us to channel the dance for worship/peace and return to that way of life. As cliche as it sounds, it would serve us a greater purpose to connect with everything around you and channel that energy into a constructive movement.
We need to pay attention to our mental health now more than ever. With that being said, take a moment to listen to what you need and what works best for you. I asked some of you on Instagram on what you've been doing to stay motivated and I've compiled a few of them as well as some of my recommendations:
So tell me, what other ways are you staying motivated?
M.O.T.I.V.A.T.I.O.N